Habits....

"Do everything that you don't like doing' - that's what he said. That the only difference between the successful and the unsuccessful was that the former did EVERYTHING that the latter did not like to you. He talked about a purpose at all times in your life. And then he talked about "habits" - success is all about the habits that you form. Suresh Nair - a trainer said all this in an ICICI training session...not to dwelve any deeper than this..he was fantastic in the first dvd that I watched in Daman...atleast was successful in making me feel miserable at the end of it all...but I am happy because he really ripped me apart from within...so much so that I am now actually ready to do a lot more than what I was doing. Good. Thank you God. Coming back to what I learnt from him...'Successful men make a habit of everything that they don't like to do so that they don't end up 'not' doing it'. It will take an effort to do somthing for 5 days, probably also for the 6th day but not after it has become a habit. It is so very easy to form habits..isn't it? Keep on doing something over and over again until you get used to doing it...and then there is no more effort from your side..it just goes as mechanical as you would want it to be. Just as you want. Just as you started. Until the time it became a 'Habit'.

Let me do a sense check now...

How many times do I like waking up early in the morning at 5 in winters?

How many times do I want to sit till late in the office and work and plan for the next day?

How amny times do I want to actually get into the problem solving mode and take everything that comes in the way of my project as a problem and solve it as if it was my own life's problem?

How many times have I thought of reaching office at 6.30 in the morning and complete the pending work that has been there?

How many times have I set up calls amongst all stakeholders to get everyone on the same page when things seemed to go wrong?

How many times have I been a part of the hiring process to actually make sure the people hired are with the right skill set for my project?

How many times did I go and sit in the training room to check if the trainers were good enough to train my team for the work they are hired for?

ZERO TIMES.

Well, digging deep is fine. Acting upon is important. All the best to me.

And to all you guys out there who want to get down one level deeper into your work, if you haven't already. And if you already do, then well...probably I was not close enough...but what the heck..am coming there....:) soon! And you know what, I better do. I will first begin with saying this over and over again so that I have that mind to always do a sense check..been long actually...you realize when things go wrong, you realize when you don't come up to your expectations, you check when you falter...why always only then? Why not much before..why not everyday? I am yet to live on that edge when I have a purpose everyday at work. Talking of purpose...well..let's dig further....my purpose, like so many other people is pretty subjective and not always monetory. This was one point where I did not agree with Suresh nair completely. You cannot go on and on only with a single track mind of a monetory purpose or goals in life that only revolve around what car have you upgraded to or what plot have you bought recently. While I am really passionate about my work, I am equally engrained to my other life. Its not about money always - its about the peace you get and how you get. The contentment that you get out of doing small things in life. ACtually contentment of doing what your heart wanted you to do. That's bliss.

Two completely different mindsets? Not really if you ask me. One leads to another. Atleast I think so.

High time

Just so that I don't forget - I need to sort myself out. Big time. Or I let myself down each time, everytime in front of myself.

Decide.

Surprises

....sometimes my boss really gives me surprises..the whole day we discussed an excel sheet - digging it to the core...talking of numbers and plans and everything else - all because we wanted to figure out a way to procure 20 systems for the next batch that begins in october....he called up in the evening to start my day at 5 am in the morning (by the way, am anyway starting my day at 5.00 am these days because i have a call to attend at 5.30 am) - and a while back, I get a message from him which reads - you will either have a good night sleep or a great start tomorrow morning because we have got all those 20 systems blocked.

Well, sometimes your boss is the sweetest person you know. :) cheers!

Panick button ON

My panich button is on now - I leave tomorrow and I have not started packing. Melbourne is pretty cold - 1-2 degrees these days, which means I have to be packed with winter clothing. All I did in so many days was get my business suits dry cleaned. The real fight begins when I have to pack them. For a limit of 20 kgs as the weight, I can't do justice to my ward-robe. Anyway, we will see - still some hours before I begin packing.

Last two days in Jaipur were hectic - working for 8-10 hours at work and then travelling to and from (Delhi-Jaipur). It is fun to be busy but not at the cost of physically draining yourself to a point when all you want to do is crash. And then managing the travel of so many people in the team was a challange too. The first batch of 8 people flew yesterday, some 9 fly today and remaining of us - a count of 9 fly tomorrow night. Pooh....

Back to travel readiness, still some things that I gotta buy today - one more SD card, a muflar (where do I get that in peak summers), silk scarfs for my customer, serum for my hair, and small bottles of shampoo and conditioner - guess that should be it.

Folks, am gonna catch up soon...until then be good.

Hanging on...

....Just another day when I am plain, simple, irritated. Did I do the right thing? Was it the right decision? Should I wait for the time or should I act upon it? Not sure.

Hanging on.

Career Risk!

I guess I should mention the conversation I had with my boss last week. Haven't had this kind of a chat in last 5 years with any of my immediate bosses.

I went to him to discuss a project that i was keen on taking...he told me to get started with it and then began chatting about my aspirations, my expectations, and the new role. He had an hour long chat with me where he explained what he thought of me and where I stand (obviously at a zero today considering I have zero operations and product experience) and what a struggle it is going to be for me. And then, as if to conclude he asked me what I thought about the whole thing and if I wanted to still take my pick and decide something else. He told me that he wanted to be very honest with me and that I was taking a big career risk and he was being a part of that risk by taking me for that role. He also talked about how strong the peer group was for me this year. I only said 'I am game. It can't be impossible'. I think I love his attitude...and I have always believed that he is a great guy. I know why did he have that conversation with me...I know what it means...specially when he will have to decide the Top 20 performers in his team very soon.

Having said that...I don't know what it means to me today, but I have a very strong urge to get started...sooner than ever.

Way Too Many...

..I slept pretty irritated and got up even more irritated - I hate everything about today - it is just one of those days when I just don't want to talk to anyone and just don't want to believe in anything.

I have every right to show my irritation and so I will....so the first one to the way things are at work - I am tired of doing the same bloody thing over and over again. It just does not seem to leave me, even though I seem to have changed roles. You are accountable for anything that is not right and in place. Deal with it. I will.

I planned for things well in advance only to find out that nothing can happen the way I planned because some things are just not in my control. So, I have given a notice to my landlord, whereas the family living in our house in Noida refuses to vacate the house. With nowhere to go and so many plans already in air, which includes my parents coming over, celebrating Mili's birthday and everything goes in thin air. Bloody well, deal with it. Yeah, for sure I will.

And last but no the least - confusions, misunderstandings, and explainations just don't seem to end for me in any and every relationship that I have with my friends. Each time, there is a new story and each time there is loads and loads of explanation. I have to hear things which I have never meant and done and said. I am held responsible for everything and anything that happens in someone's life. Everything that I did for the person is just ignored. I am tired. NO MORE of it. I will NEVER again hear it.

...and frendie, thanks for that conversation - it was heartfelt and this is nothing related to that....I guess am simply irriatated with the entire chain of events...it was the best thing you could do - call up and talk about it...I guess I really appreciate the person that you are...and I am sorry for what you felt....but some people I just can't forgive....I wanted to say it ..infact I actually wrote it...but then erased it..from here and from my memory - the best I can always do to myself is not generate negativity....whatever little was there, I leave it here, on this page!

2008 Targets...

...the end to my Fire & Ice script is ready...unfortunate, as I call it...that it did not need time to be there. Will post here in a day or too..one of my friends had actually asked me to take time in figuring out the end...and I wanted to do it...but for the climax....sometimes you don't mean what you write and you don't want to write what you really mean...we will come back to this again.

Hmm...itz that day - Friday today! Looks promising - just one task in hand to get over and done with, which is the transition plan write up. Yesterday, I uploaded my goals online for the year 2008. This time, there is a lot of stress on goalsheets in my organization. Oh boy, I really will have to do stretch assignments to be able to reach to all of them..it is a little difficult when you have changed your role and with no one around to tell you what your goals should be, you simply derive them from those of the big boss. I did what I could do the best, rest I leave it on the Big Boss to review and comment.

This year I want to work smarter...a promotion is definitely not in the cards (with 2 in hand in last 2.5 years) - but proving myself in a scenario where there already are a plenty of seasoned professionals, is going to be a task. I am only waiting to move up the learning curve faster than I can and get going with an active account. To talk about moving up, I don't think I have even started doing anything about it. Though I am learning through the tasks given to me, but need to give that time to study the basics of T-toolkit and understand the nuances of effectiveness in transitions.

The kind of feedback I get these days is not funny - good in a way... like getting thrashed because that's the way to get chiseled/refined. Guess the comfort zone was way too long in the previous role... had almost perfected what I was doing and so that urge of knowing more and being more effective had taken a backseat somewhere.

Ready to accept the change in role, ready to make a start here...hope the fire keeps burning...if it doesn't, check me please!!! Like everyone else, would often like to be reminded that this ain't much, you gotta do more! And more! Don't we all like when we work hard?

As an exercise, it might be a good idea to keep reminding yourself your goals for this year - through anyway.....reminders...notes...scribbling...visiting the goals online....so that anytime you feel directionless, you know what to do and where to do. And why wait for another day, I guess we will take our first step right today for one of them.

Ahmmm...so much for self motivation!!!! Buck up girlie!!!

Tedious TDS...

For now, it is the tedious TDS that I want to talk and get over with. It is that dreadful time of the year when I usually want to forget my existence as a professional, ahm okay… as a corporate woman. For last 2-3 years, I would struggle to get the investments done at the last minute, most of the times, not left with enough funds to make them at the nth hour. So last year, I made a new resolution that I would make all investments early in the year. As per it, I was done with all those by May 07. For the rest of the year, I kept boasting about it, my smartness in doing them and getting rid of the tension which lay ahead.


Yesterday was 30th January – that dreaded day - ofcourse the very last date at work when I could submit all my proofs of the investments made. Obviously I was sleeping over the proofs for so many days. Yesterday morning I suddenly woke up to realize I did not have them. To top it all, I did not even have the relationship manager’s number with me. Then started those frantic calls to customer care – here, Mumbai and where not..asked them to fax the provisional certificates…realized one policy had lapsed…went to ING office and paid bloody 13k and got the required proof, went to the bank and collected the house loan certificate, figured out the relationship manager’s number and requested him to send across the proofs…which he did. By evening, I had everything with me. Walked up to the help desk to submit, only to find out that the bloody desk was shut and would open only tomorrow. I almost felt like banging my head on the wall nearby and throwing away all those papers. Aadhi kamai tax mein jaati hai, baaki ki investments mein…aur upar se ye tensions….and then Manujee ke constant dande sar ke upar ‘tumne ye nahi kiya’ ‘tumne wo nahi kiya’ ‘why are u so irresponsible’ ‘why didn’t you invest here’ ‘why din’t you pay that premium’!


I wonder why do I work at the first place!!!!


Some things I just can’t be good at. Be a good manager, be systematic and be wise. Somehow there are these small little pieces of my life that I can never and will never be able to pull together…not just these, I guess quite a few of them, actually. :D

But for now – another resolution – I will make early investments AND I will make sure I have collected the proofs and photo copied them as well. You only learn when you make mistakes.

Today is 31st Jan – the first thing that I do after reaching work is Tax proofs submission. YYYYYipsYYYYY!!!!!!

ShockProof?

..Did I think I was! Well, if I think I did, then my thought should take a walk in the wild...because I just managed to get one today.

Full Power! I went silent for 5 minutes.

Shoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!!!!!

I hate it. I hate myself. And will keep on doing until I undo those silly mistakes. God...I need you. On second thoughts, it wasn't a silly mistake...it was just a silly, very silly step. I shouldn't have been so earnest in showing that I was working.

Damn. Damn. Damn.

2B Or Not2B

...Can I keep myself away from these nagging thoughts about life and its viscious circles? Not for long I guess. Too many thoughts in my mind - but will take one at a time to avoid confusion...as I unleash one, there are two other playing on...seeking paper respite...but you gotta' wait.

...my last post and the comments there have opened a plethora of thoughts - debatable, yes and no...so we will come back to those later, if we at all do and feel the need. For now and here, it is 'to be or not to be'.

To let life play with you or be cautious, to just let things flow the way they flow or perhaps do a reality check somewhere, get facts in place and then a series of additions/deletions/multiplications/divisions and finally the sum! if you ask me this question, pat comes the reply 'it depends on situations..it also depends on my need for xyz situations'. But if I think more, it is not even the situation or my need for that situation - sometimes the situation gets the better off you when you start failing in your attempts to keep the situation in control. Similarly, need or no need it was in the beginning, soon it becomes an inherent requirement, an indispensable one! Phew!!! Not once, not twice, I guess am three times a victim and perhaps even more. Stop thinking about me, you am sure would have equally been into such a soup yourself umpteen times. Why do we do what we do? And knowingly? Pity.

How many times at work do you sit and analyze the day that went by - what was 'out-of-the-ordinary' that I did, was I able to meet the committed target, am I raising my bars with every day, will I get the time to do something other than what I am supposed to do....thinking beats all..but when we come to doing, we miserably fail.

Competition - another word that is favourite among so many of us. Well, there is a constant need for it. Yet, it is not everything that you want to do. It should not be a must do - I guess I agree with my friend 'West' here when she says that the only person you compete with is yourself. I would want to do that all the time and whenever I do, I amuse myself and the person in me.

Many of my readers in the past have asked me 'what was the thought behind the stuff that you wrote. While I like the fact that they are keen on me as a person than what I write as a writer...I guess it is small little things from everyday life that trigger these posties that I write. The thought behind what I wrote today was 'Should I pursue what I am getting into'. I see the carrot already in what I am getting into, but there sure is going to be a terrible digestion problem later. Just wondering whether I should be or not be, what I want to be. :-) And to add another thought, there is a reality check for anything and everything we do in life - we usually don't let things flow by...it's your precious life, afterall.

Don't come back to me and say you did not understand a word of this post. I am not sure I understood either. :D

Crusade..

Enough of me in so many days now – love, sadness, low feeling, dancing devils in mind, rejuvenation with my lost self, pictography and blah blah blah! I am tired of writing about what I feel, how I feel, about life and relationships and so much more.

I want you to start a crusade in your life - to dare to be your best.

I want you to picture this – exactly the way I write here. Suppose you have a killer instinct to be different from others at work – to make a mark as you go by and up your professional life. What would you do?

Would you walk up to your business leader or the CEO and ever say ‘Tell me the most important thing playing in your mind. I will help you implement that in this organization’. Loud and daring? Okay then perhaps this – ‘I have this burning desire inside me to be able to help you gear up for 2008 revenues – give me the ownership for one fourth and I will see what I have to do to get that for the organization.’

Awesome – I wish I can say this some day.


You don’t even need to fix up an appointment with the CEO to say all this – there is a concept called an ‘elevator speech’ which we are so familiar with now. Try that.


..and not just professional – wish we could do that everywhere – to dare to be our best. And as I write this here, I want you to tell me the ways….to DARE TO BE OUR BEST. Sometimes hearing it out from others helps firm up.

Enough Nonsense? Don’t relate to it? Okay, then for those I have something else for you….try this three times before you decide to say shut up to me and get going with your work.

Sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick.

Would you agree if I said it was the toughest English tongue twister in the world so far? Some achievement, right?

P.S: Park that thought about ‘daring’ somewhere.