Crushed dreams....!

Crushed dreams....!, originally uploaded by TimeCaptured.

Have you experienced the feeling of a crushed dream? Not an ordinary day to day dream, which got crushed and you did not realize. I mean like a dream you held in your heart and mind for long - real long. Atleast about a decade. And then it was crushed. Either by you or others. I take my other option back. A dream could and would only be crushed by you - no one else. I will not argue on this, but if you wish...we can take it offline. :)
Lucky those of you who have never experienced it. I can call myself partially lucky as well because I have also not experienced it except ofcourse when I got my AFMC and CPMT test results with not a mention of my name. My parents hoped for me to become a doctor all their lives. Major let down? Naah...not really. Oh yeah and how could I forget the SSB I got an opportunity for i- n Allahabad and Dehradun twice (also gave the PABT test for Air traffic controllers) and came back from both the places without getting selected. I don't remember crying both these times and also when I did not get through AFMC - but I did go into oblivion..and those low mood swings and making revelations in my conversations with God. Interestingly enough, I have always had these silent conversations with God which seem to have reduced in number to now being almost equivalent to a zero. Life...! As you grow up, you tend to believe in yourself than anyone else...atleast in your youth.
So, as if this wasn't enough, I did not make it to the final of the hepthalon and 100 metre sprint and high jump during my school for the national level. I played state level but that was it for me. I can hardly believe I wore spikes...and ran on rubber track...keeping in mind the seconds P.T.Usha ran for...trying to beat that record and never really being able to...that was too much to aim for and I guess I knew the truth. Now I regret why! I shouldn't have known the truth. it wasn't a truth. it was just another record set by a woman...probably the fastest running woman in India...but then it was just a record...wasn't too much to aim for really. Anyway...so sports gone, studies gone...where else did I falter with my dreams?

:) A lot many other times. More of it in my book. Stay with me.