Monday, April 21, 2008

'Fervor'

I hate the numbness of thoughts or feelings. Whenever a thought or a feeling dies, there is a feeling of emptiness. Perhaps insecurity too. Does it happen to you? Quiet possibily in a routine. How do you deal with it? Okay, however. But if it is a good way, let me know too.
Inspite of knowing the fact that all beginnings have an end and every end leaves us with yet new beginning - in a different time, of a different feeling, idea and thought, there is a queer feeling that surrounds me. There certainly is a numbness in the thoughts and feelings,which is a result of the feeling that died or the thought that went into oblivion even before it could stage a few ideas.

As I think of many reasons, the foremost that comes to my mind is our reaction out of excitement or the newness of anything. Anything that is new - appeals. More out of curiousity than anything else. There is a fervor in that newness, certain effort that also goes in trying to unfold the newness and the excitement. And then suddenly there is lull.

With the passage of time, the newness takes a backseat and the fervor goes into thin air, leaving you with your usual routine. And then begins the quest - of trying to figure out why we did what we did and why did the feeling go? Why do we over react in excitement, only to realize later that we were fools to do so. That with time, we would realize there was nothing extraordinary in that newness of the situation or things or people. I leave that for you to think and for me to learn from it.

Okay, next - what is it that I want to do with it?

Do I want to let the fervor carry on and then deal with it when it goes? Do I want to try and continue to let the fervor remain? (Why am I using the word 'fervor' so much? Probably because I don't want to use any other word that may not be apt to use here. Not sure.)Do I want to keep trying even if the situation asks me to put a stop to it?Do I want to leave it at that. No further pursuing? :D

I know what I want to do. Do you?

12 comments:

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Dyslexicon said...

I'm reminded of a song by Eagles: After the thrill is gone ...

That was it... said...

ADD - thanks.

Dyslexicon - Same dances in the same old shoes!!! Quite Apt.

Sharanya said...

Mon what happened to you, i had to read it like 2 times to get what you were trying to say. Or rather what happened to me :))

Deep thoughts..let it be.I wont say anything. Somethings are better unsaid

That was it... said...

Shanya...sorry if it did not come out the way I wanted. Was a lingering thought in my mind for a long time that needed paper-respite and so I wrote it down and published. Nothing happened to me or you. :-) Touch wood - we are doing just fine.

Dyslexicon said...

...same dances in the same old shoes
some habbits that you just can't loose
there's no telling what a man might loose
after the thrill is gone..

Flame rises as the sun descends
empty pages and a broken pen
you're not quite lovers and you're not quite friends
after the thrill is gone ...

I didnt' really want to get into the lyrics !

That was it... said...

:-) I just managed to revive your memory or the Cut-Copy-paste skills. Thank me!!!

~ ॐ ~ said...

in agreement with Golu !!!

hmm !!!

That was it... said...

Golu? kaun Golu?

Dyslexicon said...

I'm not "Ctrl+C Ctrl+V" kind of a person ;-)

The Wandering Hermit said...

We all become jaded by life at one point or the other..Often this happens due to prior disappointments in love or in life.

We tend to cocoon ourselves in a protective shell so that nothing or no one can reach us.. but often such walls are very hard to bring down once put up..
Or maybe I'm just a cynic who has lost the Joie de vivre of life

That was it... said...

Do these walls really make sense...it's like you miss out on dwelling into the ocean full of experiences and emotions. On the other hand, I think I know what you mean. Get back the Joie de vivre of your life - life would never come back and neither will those moments that flow by.