I hate the numbness of thoughts or feelings. Whenever a thought or a feeling dies, there is a feeling of emptiness. Perhaps insecurity too. Does it happen to you? Quiet possibily in a routine. How do you deal with it? Okay, however. But if it is a good way, let me know too.
Inspite of knowing the fact that all beginnings have an end and every end leaves us with yet new beginning - in a different time, of a different feeling, idea and thought, there is a queer feeling that surrounds me. There certainly is a numbness in the thoughts and feelings,which is a result of the feeling that died or the thought that went into oblivion even before it could stage a few ideas.
As I think of many reasons, the foremost that comes to my mind is our reaction out of excitement or the newness of anything. Anything that is new - appeals. More out of curiousity than anything else. There is a fervor in that newness, certain effort that also goes in trying to unfold the newness and the excitement. And then suddenly there is lull.
With the passage of time, the newness takes a backseat and the fervor goes into thin air, leaving you with your usual routine. And then begins the quest - of trying to figure out why we did what we did and why did the feeling go? Why do we over react in excitement, only to realize later that we were fools to do so. That with time, we would realize there was nothing extraordinary in that newness of the situation or things or people. I leave that for you to think and for me to learn from it.
Okay, next - what is it that I want to do with it?
Do I want to let the fervor carry on and then deal with it when it goes? Do I want to try and continue to let the fervor remain? (Why am I using the word 'fervor' so much? Probably because I don't want to use any other word that may not be apt to use here. Not sure.)Do I want to keep trying even if the situation asks me to put a stop to it?Do I want to leave it at that. No further pursuing? :D
I know what I want to do. Do you?
