That was it...

...that was it, then - is what my blog is called. I had a purpose in mind when I gave it that name. Though it became a platform for me to put almost every thought that I may have in mind but I still haven't gotten over my purpose. Knowing myself the way I do, I know I will forever be with that purpose. Things of the past most often than not fade away with time...yes, slowly they fade but they don't leave the 'memoria'. They don't leave you. You tend to overlook them yet it is always a good idea to remember the moments of bliss, times when you thought life rocked, times when you lived the way you wanted to...

Things change for everybody and so will they - for me. And there is a fear attached. There is this unknown fear inside that just grows with time. The unforeseen, that which I have not been used to, those circumstances, those moments, those uncatered for needs - almost everything scares me. Getting used to things and actions and moods and a lifestyle and the warmth is so very easy. Getting out of it all is THE TASK. But you gotta do it when you HAVE to do it...

Is there anything I can do to stop this? Not really. I forced the change into my life, infact into many other's lives as well, knowingly or unknowingly. But the change scares me. I guess that really was it....this, today, haunts me. I did hear someone say 'life is as simple as you make it or as complex as you want it'. Perhaps thats true - life may be simple, but the way we handle it, it becomes complex. The people around you make it yet further complexed. People - sometimes i really wonder what they want. (I am not anti-society, the society is anti me!!!)

Why is it always so difficult to do what you please? To hell with these norms and the ideal state that you are so hopelessly wanted to be in, all the time. It doesn't matter how you live, what matters is your peace and your happiness. (Sad but true that your peace and happiness also are directly proportional to your people around you and the society).

Independence of thoughts - still way to go before you can see that around you.

Am I selfish?

Am I a dreamer?

Am I a rebel?

Am I anti-social?

Call me names if you have to but I will not let every dream go by...I will chase my dreams, with or without acceptance. If I have to live, I better live my way! This scary thought within me is too much to bear with. I gotta shoo it away before it takes my sanity away. Right or wrong in life matters, but so do so many other things. What about your basic needs? If they are not fulfilled, would you still think about what is right and what is wrong? And that too if the judgement is being passed by folks who are not into that situation or are just the spectators, talking and deciding with their experienecs in life and going by the theories of the ancient worlds?

I am not seeking answers here - I am only stating my facts. Deal with it.