The 'Not-So-Good' Side...

What is your endurance level, when it comes to hearing things that are ‘not-so-good’ about yourself? What does it depend upon?

Been thinking of this for long now – and as I firmly believe that all nagging thoughts of your mind must find ‘paper-respite’ or a channel to come out – am here again with these thoughts. Needless to say they bother me and find time to nag my mind when there are so many other important things that I need to take care of.

While it depends a lot (actually 40%) on the way someone tells you what they don’t like about you, there is always an aftermath to it. You tend to introspect. Sometimes you agree to what was pointed out and think of ways to set things right. Some other times you fill yourself with anger, not agreeing AT ALL to what was pointed out. You still reason it out. With yourself first before you actually go with a pouncing spree at the one who did the needful to you. This remains purely my experience and a lot of people might beg to differ which is fine.

Coming back to my question – what is your endurance level? How do you react to it? For how long can you hear ‘not-so-good’ (I am being nice here!) things about yourself? Do you only listen to the ones who are close to you or just any stranger? And do you AGREE to it if someone close tells you? In all probabilities, Yes. But do you also pay heed to it if a stranger tells you? Or some you have known only for a few days? There may be times when you would listen to all that CRAP (that’s what you want to call it the first time you hear it..) from a stranger without even a single thread of retaliation. At all other times, you would detest even your closest of friends when they try telling you what is it that’s not good about you. You may also choose to drift away from that person. Further still, you may just laugh it all thinking ‘your close friend suddenly is jealous of you’ or is trying to show you down…..

While am writing, I am just thinking…maybe it is circumstances around you that decide how you react to such a situation. I will give another 30% to those circumstances. I am left with only 30% more – can I give that to the way you evolve in life, show those signs of maturity (and I don’t mean that you agree to all those ‘no-so-goodies’ in front of your friend/stranger and say I will work on those soon…and then never even spending a minute in what was told).

There is a professional angle to it too. In the corporate world, you call it ‘constructive feedback’. The way your manager tells you all those developmental needs is not funny – it is sugar coated in a way that it sounds good to you and more often than not, you walk out of the session wondering whether your boss meant good or bad. Effective communication comes next in this then. Holds true in your personal life as well. This is what I meant when I said I will give 40% to the way your are told things. Been trying my best to learn the art – yet a lot of situations happening day-to-day tell me I need to work a lot. Emotions get the better off me and I speak out without realizing how it would sound to the other person.

My endurance level – well, 50% depends on what has been pointed out (whether it is true, or I agree to it or not, whether I was ignorant of it or did not think in that perspective) and 40% on who has pointed it out, and the remaining 10% on the mood that I am in! Let me know if I missed something out.